Jessi Ryan
All Guts, No Glory!
Since their 2024 Melbourne International Comedy Festival debut Functional Bottom, artiste, journalist and hot f#%king mess, Jessi Ryan has had one hell of a year. Now colostomy bag free and “shitting like a real girl (and douching like a real boy)” they have returned to hospitality only to find the industry more cooked than that one recent night, when guts deep in the middle of service Ryan mistook ketamine for cocaine.
Ryan is a proud, self proclaimed "hot f#%king mess" but critics also have described them as "beautifully chaotic”, “a firebrand” (The Age) and “mesmerising to watch” (Keith Gow), like a car crash in slow motion or more like watching Ryan K Hole behind the bar as they make you a cocktail and totally ignore their RSA. Ryan is one to watch, literally.
As fans of Functional Bottom can testify to – whether you like it dry, dirty, shaken or stirred – Ryan's not here to yuck your yum...
No longer mourning the loss of their beloved sugar daddy, they instead keep themselves busy pimped out on the weekend to hospo venues by a new man in Ryan's life. A man who just so happens to share the same name as the patron saint of hot messes – Ryan ‘s beloved 'housemate' of the past decade.
Handed rolls of cash at the end of each shift, Ryan has spent much time recently reflecting on their other career in sex work – how is it both industries are fun but share a panache for the occasional bad taste left in one's mouth?
Ryan is ok with their non-existent love life – because working hospo for them has been much like dating anyway. Ryan may be on call for a regular rotation of venues, but not one venue wants to 'go steady' leaving Ryan to reflect on life's 'big' questions…
"Am I serving F#%kboy energy? Did I just misgender myself?”
Ryan traces all this chaos back to their recent tour of Functional Bottom to their home town of Brisbane. Pinpointing the exact moment things unravelled, Ryan knew then they were f#%ked because they were drinkling XXXX beer. By choice.
If Ryan can wrangle their ADHD for long enough and (after a recent return to mainstream journalism via The Age) not get doxed by the NSN (again) All Guts, No Glory! promises to be a side splitting look at a year in a life lived in the fast lane, with zero f#%ks left to give.
Strictly for audiences 18+
Drug references
Language – strong coarse language
Political, religious or racial themes
References to substance abuse
Strong sexual references
Since their 2024 Melbourne International Comedy Festival debut Functional Bottom, artiste, journalist and hot f#%king mess, Jessi Ryan has had one hell of a year. Now colostomy bag free and “shitting like a real girl (and douching like a real boy)” they have returned to hospitality only to find the industry more cooked than that one recent night, when guts deep in the middle of service Ryan mistook ketamine for cocaine.
Ryan is a proud, self proclaimed "hot f#%king mess" but critics also have described them as "beautifully chaotic”, “a firebrand” (The Age) and “mesmerising to watch” (Keith Gow), like a car crash in slow motion or more like watching Ryan K Hole behind the bar as they make you a cocktail and totally ignore their RSA. Ryan is one to watch, literally.
As fans of Functional Bottom can testify to – whether you like it dry, dirty, shaken or stirred – Ryan's not here to yuck your yum...
No longer mourning the loss of their beloved sugar daddy, they instead keep themselves busy pimped out on the weekend to hospo venues by a new man in Ryan's life. A man who just so happens to share the same name as the patron saint of hot messes – Ryan ‘s beloved 'housemate' of the past decade.
Handed rolls of cash at the end of each shift, Ryan has spent much time recently reflecting on their other career in sex work – how is it both industries are fun but share a panache for the occasional bad taste left in one's mouth?
Ryan is ok with their non-existent love life – because working hospo for them has been much like dating anyway. Ryan may be on call for a regular rotation of venues, but not one venue wants to 'go steady' leaving Ryan to reflect on life's 'big' questions…
"Am I serving F#%kboy energy? Did I just misgender myself?”
Ryan traces all this chaos back to their recent tour of Functional Bottom to their home town of Brisbane. Pinpointing the exact moment things unravelled, Ryan knew then they were f#%ked because they were drinkling XXXX beer. By choice.
If Ryan can wrangle their ADHD for long enough and (after a recent return to mainstream journalism via The Age) not get doxed by the NSN (again) All Guts, No Glory! promises to be a side splitting look at a year in a life lived in the fast lane, with zero f#%ks left to give.
Strictly for audiences 18+
Drug references
Language – strong coarse language
Political, religious or racial themes
References to substance abuse
Strong sexual references