Melbourne International Comedy Festival acknowledges the traditional custodians of the lands upon which we work and live. We acknowledge the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples' spirit, imagination and rich history of storytelling and humour that is an inspiration to all Australians.

We accept the invitation to walk together with First Nations people towards a more positive future for Australia, as described in the Uluru Statement From The Heart.

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Laughing Stock Productions

Heath Franklin's Chopper Not Here To F*ck Spiders

Laughing Stock Productions

Heath Franklin's Chopper Not Here To F*ck Spiders

WINNER Best Comedy Weekly - Fringe World 2024

WINNER Comics Choice - Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2018 

Australia's Most Wanted comedian is back after three years off... and he's not here to fuck sp*ders!

That's right. Not even if they're dressed in a sexy spider nurse outfit. He just hasn't got the time. And neither do you.

Because life happens whether you like it or not. You can tiptoe around it, have a whinge or pretend it's not there. But like a man wearing bacon pants at a dog park, you're gonna get bitten on the arse eventually.

So either get up and get busy, or tell somebody else who gives a sh*t. Cos we're not here to...

Book now and join Chopper for the best night out in yonks.

'This is a top hour of uproariously entertaining comedy… packed with good gags and "so wrong its right’"moments.' ★★★★ Chortle (UK)

Suitable for audiences 15+

This show contains: Strong coarse language.


Before and after the show

  • Eat, drink, laugh, repeat

    Check out our partner bars and restaurants across the CBD - many offering exclusive deals for ticketholders!

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  • The Festival Club

    Your very own late-night treat for laughs, dancing and all-round good times.

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