Melbourne International Comedy Festival acknowledges the traditional custodians of the lands upon which we work and live. We acknowledge the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples' spirit, imagination and rich history of storytelling and humour that is an inspiration to all Australians.

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BUY TICKETS Choose from dates below March ‐ April 2024
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Preview
Tightarse Tuesday
Auslan
Laugh pack
Past event
Cancelled
The Maybe Pile

Jaxson Garni Saturn Return Policy

The Maybe Pile

Jaxson Garni Saturn Return Policy

Zaddy of the Zodiac, God of the Harvest and sixth planet from the sun, nothing about Saturn is casual. 

Astrologically, Saturn gets all up in our time, balance, productivity, boundaries and karma: reaping what you have (or haven’t) sown. Which is why he's back at 27 and here to ruin your life.

It’s been a very big year for Jaxson. He lost his job, quit acting, started cross-dressing and went to the USA. Just in time for cross-dressing to get another lashing in the conservative media. Whoops.

Now, after surviving his 27th year (and the US), he stares down the barrel of his Saturn Return, which according to reddit, is like menopause for bored white people.

With one foot off the merry-go-round, Jaxson has questions about all this life stuff.

What happens to us when we die? If there was a war, would Australia survive because we can grow our own shit? Does my cat hate me because he’s homophobic? If someone is born every second, does someone cum every second? What are the rules for being in a long term (open) relationship? Why don’t I feel comfortable telling people at my education job that I do drag because I’m scared they’ll equate me with a pedophile?

Is Saturn Return even real, and if I don’t like it can I get a refund?

"Saturn is Lord of the right ear, the spleen, the bladder, the phlegm, and the bones." Ptolemy

'Tastefully outrageous.' ★★★★ ArtsHub

'Jaxson has an easy manner and is a storyteller.' Weekend Notes

'Comedy genius. Hilarious.' ★★★★½ What Did She Think?

15+
Strictly for audiences 15+

This show contains: Strong coarse language, Political, religious or racial themes, Strong sexual references.

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