Stuck for Christmas gifts?

DON'T WORRY, WE'VE GOT YOUR SORTED.

People say that time with family and friends is the greatest gift. The ‘presence is presents enough’. OK, so maybe that’s a nice sentiment, but we reckon tickets to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival is a much better idea!

This Christmas avoid socks and jocks, boring shopping vouchers or that novelty desk fan you know will never get used. Grab tickets to a show and give the gift of giggles!

We spoke to Mark Watson, Fringe Wives Club, Aaron Chen, Tom Ballard, Nick Cody, Anne Edmonds, Felicity Ward, Garry Starr and Fiona O'Loughlin, some of the excellent artists performing next year, to ask them the three reasons they’d make the perfect pressie.


  
MARK WATSON (He’s supplied four, in fact, as a safety)

1.  Not to be too British about it, but I reckon I'm in the bracket of 'comedians your mate would like, but can't automatically think of the name of.' So you're getting them something they want, but don't realise they want: the definition of a good present.

2.  An electronic ticket is the perfect enviro-friendly gift, with no squandering of the earth's resources. It's estimated that if everyone in Melbourne bought an e-ticket for a friend instead of a mass-produced item, sea levels would fall and some of the Arctic's glaciers would re-form. 

3.  You can buy online right up to Christmas morning: a lucky escape since, unbelievably, you forgot to get something for Katie AGAIN this year even though she spent $500 on you last year.

4.  Also, it can't be used till April, so it's guaranteed a more of a life than the majority of Christmas presents. (Tip: if you buy for later of the month, it'll last even longer.)



FRINGE WIVES CLUB

1.  It means the festive season lasts for up to 4 months! Buy tickets for a Comedy Festival show now, and reap the benefits of being known as a thoughtful gift-giver with EXQUISITE taste until mid-2019 at least.

2.  It's environmentally friendly. Don't buy another plastic bit of crap - doesn't matter if it's from Myer and it's a lamp shaped like a pineapple attached to a decorative succulent pot in a gold and leopard print finish (although it does sound cool).

3.  It's a fierce, feminist, funtime extravaganza! ‘Glittergrass’ is the brand-new show from Best Newcomer nominees Fringe Wives Club. Hilarious sketches, original songs and femme-fronted anthems from the 1920s to the 2020s. Perfect for the EVERYBODY in your life.



AARON CHEN

1.  no one can really guess what you’re trying to get for them just by shaking the envelope. it could be $10000, it could be a signed letter from the queen or it could be two comedy festival tickets.

2.  if they don’t like the present and don’t go, I still get the financial gain of ticket sales. so you will really be making my day and also supporting a local artist merry Christmas.

3.  it won’t go to landfill, if you care at all about the environment. one day I will and some dogs will be eating my cold face.

TOM BALLARD

1.  Jesus is a very big fan of mine so it's definitely in keeping with the spirit of the season.

2.  You don't have to think of anything else I've just named the thing for you so it's no hassle you're welcome.

3.  If they're a Liberal voter, it's a great way to punish them.



NICK CODY

1.  You don’t have to wrap tickets! Boom! Already saved yourself a headache/a small bit of a tree. 

2.  It’s more fun than an hour in an escape room, plus you can drink inside!

3.  Let’s be honest, if you’ve read this far, you’ve run out of time to get to the shops. Just buy some tickets and relax.  

ANNE EDMONDS (Suggests you buy tickets to her show for the following people...)

1. Your ex boyfriend/girlfriend. Send me a photo and I’ll do the rest.

2. Your boss. I plan to outline why working is no longer viable for most people and how there’s no point turning up to work when death is inevitable.

3. Your parents. So they can feel happy and proud about how your life has panned out compared to mine.
 

FELICITY WARD

1.  Festival tickets are the perfect Christmas present because they’re light to travel with on Christmas Day, environmentally friendly, and they are easy to put back in your pocket if you have a fight with your family and you think they don’t deserve them anymore. 

2. You should buy tickets to Jude Perl’s show literally because it’s called I Have A Face and she is holding a taxidermied cat in the photo. 

3.  Flights from the UK are very expensive and please buy tickets to my show. 

GARRY STARR

1.  Laughter burns calories so the recipient can eat more turkey.

2.  They’re made of card so you don’t have to buy them a card AS WELL. 

3.  Watching comedy makes people better lovers and less prone to early onset death.
 

FIONA O'LOUGHLIN

1.  You don’t need to leave the house to buy them. 

2.  You don’t have to wrap them.

3.  Thirdly, it doesn’t matter why. I am your queen and I SAID SO!